sex

Loopie · 02-05-2003, 04:18 AM

little Loopie sent this to me.

Everybody I know usually calls their dog Rover or Spot. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!"

Then I said, "She is a dog!!"

He said he didnt care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand, I had Sex since I was 9 years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the weddimg. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my life revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand! Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around, and I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have Sex on TV!"

He called me a 'show off'!

When my wife and I split, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married."

The judge said, "Me too!!"

Last night, Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up next Thursday.

Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my shrink, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"

I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all of my life, but now it has left me forever, I couldn't live any longer, so lonely!"

And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend, so get your self a dog."

Trail Rider 1.0 · 02-05-2003, 04:23 AM

bwahahaha!!

I'm laughing out loud. thats some good stuff man

Del · 02-05-2003, 04:23 AM

thanks loopie, or little loopie I suppose, thats funny

m33p · 02-05-2003, 04:26 AM

That was great!

02-05-2003, 04:29 AM

lol sounds like one of my days

*GiMpY* · 02-05-2003, 04:39 AM

Midas · 02-05-2003, 04:44 AM

That is so funny.

lolol.olooloololololloloollolololololololololololo lollololoololololololololololololololololol

JimmyJ · 02-05-2003, 05:01 AM

BAHAHAHAHA that made me laugh out loud. My dad asked me what I was laughing at and I showed him now he wants to send it to his friends lol

big_hit_biker · 02-05-2003, 05:32 AM

mike · 02-05-2003, 05:38 AM

hahaahah good stuff

Pennywise · 02-05-2003, 06:00 AM

ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

David · 02-05-2003, 06:21 AM

BAHAHHAHA

i laughed so hard, my parents asked what i was doing, they thought i was having another one of my outbusts

thats good shit loopie, i mean little loope

bigbadburt · 02-05-2003, 06:28 AM

lol ya its funny. first time i read that i laughed for a long time.

Infamous · 02-05-2003, 08:00 AM

good story, im still sad that he lost his dog tho!

fLeM · 02-05-2003, 08:27 AM

hahahaha that was funny

ive gotten that in an email too.....but i deleted it after i read it

02-05-2003, 04:18 AM	#1
Loopie Chubbing it up downhill Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: kamLOOPs, BC Posts: 13,605 Rep Power: 2768526	sex little Loopie sent this to me. Everybody I know usually calls their dog Rover or Spot. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "She is a dog!!" He said he didnt care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand, I had Sex since I was 9 years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the weddimg. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my life revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand! Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around, and I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have Sex on TV!" He called me a 'show off'! When my wife and I split, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married." The judge said, "Me too!!" Last night, Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up next Thursday. Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my shrink, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all of my life, but now it has left me forever, I couldn't live any longer, so lonely!" And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend, so get your self a dog."

02-05-2003, 04:23 AM	#2
Trail Rider 1.0 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: UBC / PoCompton Posts: 1,516 Rep Power: 52430	bwahahaha!! I'm laughing out loud. thats some good stuff man __________________ Way back from the old school days of NSMB...

02-05-2003, 04:26 AM	#4
m33p Registered User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: I Control The Board. Posts: 2,710 Rep Power: 1015	That was great! __________________ 2000 VPS Custom Travel sz. medium w/ Raceface BB, Blackspire chainguide, Axiom Seatpost, Tank hs... $400. Champagne Hayes w/rotors... $299/pair. Front 20mm Formula laced to 26" Doublewide w/ 2.8 Michelin and dh tube... $150. Rear Formula laced to 24" DX32 w/ XTR 8spd Cog, Highroller 2.7, dh tube... $200. 8spd XT derailler/shifter...$100. FUNN FatboySlim/Serial Killa 31.8 Combo w/ Odi Lockons... $100. Dainese Legs and Arms sz. med... $100. Magura HS-11's... $50/pair. Or take it all for $1200 and

02-05-2003, 04:39 AM	#6
GiMpY ride on Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Peachland B.C.(near k-tow n) Posts: 440 Rep Power: 11	__________________ Live To Ride-Ride To Live

02-05-2003, 04:44 AM	#7
Midas Logo in a circle. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: 211 balaclava st. Posts: 8,750 Rep Power: 694332	That is so funny. lolol.olooloololololloloollolololololololololololo lollololoololololololololololololololololol __________________ // What's Good // F U N E R A L // Ultramontane

02-05-2003, 04:23 AM	#3
Del :::::::::::::: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New York, North Cakalacka, & Compton Posts: 9,147 Rep Power: 806962	thanks loopie, or little loopie I suppose, thats funny

02-05-2003, 04:29 AM	#5
Tony G Guest Posts: n/a	lol sounds like one of my days

02-05-2003, 05:01 AM	#8
JimmyJ NSMB Veteran Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 2,790 Rep Power: 1517	BAHAHAHAHA that made me laugh out loud. My dad asked me what I was laughing at and I showed him now he wants to send it to his friends lol __________________ you sound like a jerk!

02-05-2003, 05:32 AM	#9
big_hit_biker Ernest Hemingway Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Surrey, BC Posts: 1,502 Rep Power: 380

02-05-2003, 05:38 AM	#10
mike take me to your diesel Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: vancouver Posts: 3,449 Rep Power: 9489	hahaahah good stuff __________________ Big Bike: Santa Cruz Bullit Bigger Bike: Suzuki RM125

02-05-2003, 06:21 AM	#12
David hmmmmmm Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: burnaby Posts: 5,518 Rep Power: 5411	BAHAHHAHA i laughed so hard, my parents asked what i was doing, they thought i was having another one of my outbusts thats good shit loopie, i mean little loope

02-05-2003, 06:28 AM	#13
bigbadburt Your Vanity Pimps You Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: nanaimo BC Posts: 1,458 Rep Power: 11	lol ya its funny. first time i read that i laughed for a long time. __________________ http://bigbadburt.deviantart.com/

02-05-2003, 08:00 AM	#14
Infamous Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: NVLOC Posts: 2,436 Rep Power: 493859	good story, im still sad that he lost his dog tho!

02-05-2003, 08:27 AM	#15
fLeM cliffhanging Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: North Vancouver,BC Posts: 1,653 Rep Power: 0	hahahaha that was funny ive gotten that in an email too.....but i deleted it after i read it

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes	Rate This Thread
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode	Rate This Thread:

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
whoever says good lyrics arent....	Zaskar	NBR - Not Biking Related	17	10-31-2007 04:06 PM
Philosophy of sex	switch	NBR - Not Biking Related	28	01-15-2007 10:23 PM
Not havin sex tonight.	umbullit	NBR - Not Biking Related	19	03-16-2005 06:26 PM
Crazy Mofo American Military - GAY SEX BOMB.	migueltorres	NBR - Not Biking Related	7	01-14-2005 09:33 PM
Klassen and Sex	Cheese	The Shore	29	03-14-2003 08:11 PM