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Old 04-29-2004, 11:25 AM   #1
the flying moose
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The Stupid Sign
I know a few people that should have one.

THE STUPID SIGN

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a NOBR>U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Anybody you know need a sign today?

The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is.
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Being an agoraphobic adrenaline junkie would be pretty convenient, because you could get your rush from just going to the store to get some milk instead of having to jump off a mountain or out of an airplane.

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they also call me "balloon"
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Old 04-29-2004, 11:57 AM   #2
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holy crap thats golden! are these all your personal stories james? or you get them from somewhere?
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:01 PM   #3
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nope. just found them while cruisng the information superhighway.
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Being an agoraphobic adrenaline junkie would be pretty convenient, because you could get your rush from just going to the store to get some milk instead of having to jump off a mountain or out of an airplane.

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they also call me "balloon"
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:11 PM   #4
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hahahahahahaahahaha
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Old 04-29-2004, 12:39 PM   #5
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Jeff Foxworthy.....look it up on kazaa. I think that is who it is.
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Old 04-29-2004, 02:17 PM   #6
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Quote:
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nope. just found them while cruisng the information superhighway.

i thought they were actually your experiences.

i like the semitruck one.
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Old 04-29-2004, 02:21 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by DangerousDean

i thought they were actually your experiences.

i like the semitruck one.
no. that would be funny if they were mine though.

i like the semitruck one too.
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Being an agoraphobic adrenaline junkie would be pretty convenient, because you could get your rush from just going to the store to get some milk instead of having to jump off a mountain or out of an airplane.

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Originally Posted by Faithless View Post
they also call me "balloon"
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Old 04-29-2004, 02:28 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by lancepaydirt
no. that would be funny if they were mine though.

i like the semitruck one too.
yeah, any story where the person is rude or obnoxious towards police officers are funny..
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Old 04-29-2004, 05:02 PM   #9
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That's gold, ahahahah I love it when I can say some kind of smart ass remark when some one asks me a stupid question.
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Old 04-29-2004, 07:23 PM   #10
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classic
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Old 04-29-2004, 07:29 PM   #11
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Old 04-29-2004, 08:39 PM   #12
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thats some country song. the use to play it on the overhead at work all the time. lol
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Old 04-29-2004, 08:53 PM   #13
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Geroge Carlin did a thing on something like that. Can't remember if that was him or not.
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Old 04-29-2004, 08:55 PM   #14
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The only thing is, most of the stupid things are typical ways of opening a conversation. Like the moving one for example.

Meh. Still funny.
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Old 04-29-2004, 09:13 PM   #15
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i remember this beign psoted a long time ago but its hilarious
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