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Old 01-06-2004, 12:28 AM   #1
switch
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Philosophy of sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams
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Old 01-06-2004, 12:30 AM   #2
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"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia
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Old 01-06-2004, 12:34 AM   #3
HellBent
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Quote:
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

haha,
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Old 01-06-2004, 12:34 AM   #4
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hehe

""Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart"
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Old 01-06-2004, 12:42 AM   #5
Valo
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pure gold
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Old 01-06-2004, 12:42 AM   #6
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Re: Philosophy of sex

i'd heard a few of these before, but they're pretty good. i like

Quote:
Originally posted by switch

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen
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Old 01-06-2004, 12:50 AM   #7
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i got a joke
why dont old people have sex?
have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:02 AM   #8
How
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Quote:
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
lol
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:05 AM   #9
Fast Orange
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Quote:
Originally posted by theoriginalhardcore
i got a joke
why dont old people have sex?
have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?
That jokes not supposed to be about old people. It's about why surrey girls don't fuck on a sunday morning.
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:18 AM   #10
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Re: Philosophy of sex

Quote:
Originally posted by switch
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams
robin williams live on broadway!!! u gotta see it!
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:21 AM   #11
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bwahhahah
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Good Job Al.
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:40 AM   #12
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that Sharon Stone one is a Mis Quote...some one else said it...Still funny as fuck...
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Old 01-06-2004, 01:48 AM   #13
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"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams


BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA
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Old 01-06-2004, 02:12 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by theoriginalhardcore
i got a joke
why dont old people have sex?
have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?
eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
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Old 01-06-2004, 04:35 AM   #15
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"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
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