Philosophy of sex

switch · 01-06-2004, 12:28 AM

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

01-06-2004, 12:30 AM

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

HellBent · 01-06-2004, 12:34 AM

Quote:

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

haha,

pay2play · 01-06-2004, 12:34 AM

hehe

""Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart"

Valo · 01-06-2004, 12:42 AM

pure gold

Captain Da · 01-06-2004, 12:42 AM

i'd heard a few of these before, but they're pretty good. i like

Quote:

Originally posted by switch

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

theoriginalhardcore · 01-06-2004, 12:50 AM

i got a joke
why dont old people have sex?
have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?

How · 01-06-2004, 01:02 AM

Quote:

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."

lol

Fast Orange · 01-06-2004, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by theoriginalhardcore
i got a joke
why dont old people have sex?
have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?

That jokes not supposed to be about old people. It's about why surrey girls don't fuck on a sunday morning.

IH8XC · 01-06-2004, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by switch
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

robin williams live on broadway!!! u gotta see it!

RiDiCuLoUs · 01-06-2004, 01:21 AM

bwahhahah

Painting_of_Rebelion · 01-06-2004, 01:40 AM

that Sharon Stone one is a Mis Quote...some one else said it...Still funny as fuck...

Neo · 01-06-2004, 01:48 AM

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA

fender · 01-06-2004, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by theoriginalhardcore
i got a joke
why dont old people have sex?
have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

pete · 01-06-2004, 04:35 AM

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."

01-06-2004, 12:28 AM	#1
switch two foot hucker Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Old Buck Posts: 30,092 Rep Power: 13897290	Philosophy of sex "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Tom Clancy "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Steve Martin "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." --Woody Allen "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." --Rodney Dangerfield "Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." --Matt Barry "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --Camille Paglia "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." --George Burns "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." --Sharon Stone "My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." --Steve Jobs "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." --Jack Nicholson "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." --Barbara Bush "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." --Robin Williams "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." --Billy Crystal "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." --Robert De Niro "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" --Dustin Hoffman "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." --Rod Stewart "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." --Robin Williams __________________ It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities. - Josiah Stamp Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. - H.G. Wells

01-06-2004, 12:34 AM	#4
pay2play Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: where i live Posts: 248 Rep Power: 10	hehe ""Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." --Rod Stewart" __________________ Optional signature you may use to appear at bottom of your posts

01-06-2004, 01:40 AM	#12
Painting_of_Rebelion "What the Deuce?" Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: PDX, OR Posts: 2,752 Rep Power: 25	that Sharon Stone one is a Mis Quote...some one else said it...Still funny as fuck... __________________ RIP Charles Edward DelaForest... Born: September 1978 - Murdered May 2005 Gone but not forgotten, I miss you brother.

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01-06-2004, 12:30 AM	#2
clay@nsmb.com Guest Posts: n/a	"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --Camille Paglia

01-06-2004, 12:42 AM	#5
Valo Blue Monday Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Shawnigan Lake, BC Posts: 3,572 Rep Power: 0	pure gold

01-06-2004, 12:50 AM	#7
theoriginalhardcore surrey pride Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: surrey Posts: 1,108 Rep Power: 11	i got a joke why dont old people have sex? have you ever tried to pull apart a grillcheese sandwich?

01-06-2004, 01:48 AM	#13
Neo Keanu Reeves is immortal Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: westshore Posts: 14,371 Rep Power: 16321	"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." --Robin Williams BAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHA

01-06-2004, 04:35 AM	#15
pete I'm the Wizard of OZ! Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 4,635 Rep Power: 413604	"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."