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View Full Version : I'm having a cyclist.ca moment.




biggles604
04-24-2008, 09:48 PM
I suddenly felt all cyclist.ca like and decided to post a crap joke.

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of
minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in
high-powered vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away,' said the old lady. 'I haven' t
got any money, I'm broke!' As she proceeded to close the door,
the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't
be too hasty,' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure on to her hallway
carpet.

'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse
manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.
The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a
good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.




lambert
04-24-2008, 10:06 PM
there is a cure for that.

gtse
04-24-2008, 10:11 PM
there is a cure for that.

and would that be more sex?

cyclist.ca
04-24-2008, 10:54 PM
That is a crap joke and it is funny! :lol:

P.S. Lambert, there is no cure, you better watch out as it may be contagious, Biggles604 got infected. ;)

Heatmizer
04-24-2008, 11:15 PM
P.S. Lambert, there is no cure, you better watch out as it may be contagious, Biggles604 got infected. ;)

Here that biggles, it's an infection - kinda like gonorrhea.

Heather
04-24-2008, 11:31 PM
That is a crap joke and it is funny! :lol:

P.S. Lambert, there is no cure, you better watch out as it may be contagious, Biggles604 got infected. ;)

contagious...what... Purecanadianhoney has infected you, wow she does get around. I heard vagisil works!

biggles604
04-24-2008, 11:36 PM
contagious...what... Purecanadianhoney has infected you, wow she does get around. I heard vagisil works!

Damnit! Hurry up and get your post to 100 so we can see how much rep you really have.

Stupid Cyclist.ca and his bad jokes. :)

cyclist.ca
04-24-2008, 11:39 PM
Stupid Cyclist.ca and his bad jokes. :)

Yeah I hate the guy! Terrible sense of humor, it is as if he was British or something.

heckler
04-24-2008, 11:42 PM
Damnit! Hurry up and get your post to 100 so we can see how much rep you really have.

Stupid Cyclist.ca and his bad jokes. :)

is biggles worried that a girl has more rep than him??

cyclist.ca
04-24-2008, 11:45 PM
Wendy was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Wendy was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Wendy's grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?"

Not willing to let her grandmother know the truth, Wendy told her grandmother that the policemen were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.

"Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for myself," and she proceeded to the back of the line.

A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the girls. When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"

"Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry.".........The policeman fainted.

DARTHYOGA
04-24-2008, 11:46 PM
contagious...what... Purecanadianhoney has infected you, wow she does get around. I heard vagisil works!


Infectious laughter all around!

Heatmizer
04-24-2008, 11:48 PM
Damnit! Hurry up and get your post to 100 so we can see how much rep you really have.

Did ya want us to neg rep her?

Heather
04-24-2008, 11:50 PM
Did ya want us to neg rep her?

Now look what you have started Steve!

biggles604
04-24-2008, 11:53 PM
Infectious laughter all around!

/golfclap

Wendy was a prostitute, but she didn't want her ....
skin back and suck them dry.".........The policeman fainted.

That was crap.

Yeah I hate the guy! Terrible sense of humor, it is as if he was British or something.

British have an awesome sense of humour, you could learn a lot. Really... I mean it!

is biggles worried that a girl has more rep than him??

I figure she's received enough rep to have some clout, but hasn't the posts to use it.

cyclist.ca
04-25-2008, 12:00 AM
British have an awesome sense of humour, you could learn a lot. Really... I mean it!


You keep telling yourself that :grinno:

Here is a British joke:
-------------
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:

"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"

"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."
--------------

I'd rather stick to my sense of humour and post this:
http://www.anglik.net/JOKENotNowKid.jpg
Caption: "not now kid"

DARTHYOGA
04-25-2008, 12:04 AM
You keep telling yourself that :grinno:

http://www.anglik.net/JOKENotNowKid.jpg
Caption: "not now kid"


Put a TV in there and those roos have the trfiecta.

Jerry: So, how's the fornicating gourmet?

George: Doing quite well, thank you. Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a quickie. You know what? If I could add TV to the equation, that would really be the ultimate.

Poz
04-25-2008, 12:23 AM
P.S. Lambert, there is no cure, you better watch out as it may be contagious, Biggles604 got infected. ;)


If many more people catch it we're going to have to open a sub-forum for NBR "cyclist.ca et al. jokes."

connor
04-25-2008, 12:25 AM
ho ho ho...

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?''

Lady Gravity
04-25-2008, 12:30 AM
:lol: @ connor's joke

biggles604
04-25-2008, 12:39 AM
:lol: @ connor's joke

I bet the engineers who actually had that conversation didn't think it was a joke.

gtse
04-25-2008, 02:42 AM
so a guy gets married and his bud goes up to him the next day and asks....|so how many times you do it last night?"

he says "once" with a frown on his face. his buddy can't figure out why so sad but whatever.

next week he asks again, "so how many times you do it last night?"

again his friend says "once" and again has a sad face.

third week later same question "so how many times you do it last night?"

this time his friend has a huge grin on his face and says "TWICE" and does two huge pelvis thrust while counting ONE TWO with each thrust and ends with a orgasm face!!!!!

badading?

funny right? c'mon picture yer friend saying "twice" while counting two pelvis thrusts with a huge grin on his face. no????

i think you have to see it in person.

Gimp Pimp
04-25-2008, 02:48 AM
http://www.anglik.net/JOKENotNowKid.jpg
Caption: "not now kid"
This is the perfect way for a man to multi task. Get fed and get off at the same time. We can really learn something from the animals

Gimp Pimp
04-25-2008, 02:55 AM
so a guy gets married and his bud goes up to him the next day and asks....|so how many times you do it last night?"

he says "once" with a frown on his face. his buddy can't figure out why so sad but whatever.

next week he asks again, "so how many times you do it last night?"

again his friend says "once" and again has a sad face.

third week later same question "so how many times you do it last night?"

this time his friend has a huge grin on his face and says "TWICE" and does two huge pelvis thrust while counting ONE TWO with each thrust and ends with a orgasm face!!!!!

badading?

funny right? c'mon picture yer friend saying "twice" while counting two pelvis thrusts with a huge grin on his face. no????

i think you have to see it in person.

i'm sorry sir, but this is a joke thread, not a how-my-honeymoon-went thread

Heatmizer
04-25-2008, 03:09 AM
Now look what you have started Steve!

Ya, see what you started Steve!!!

(who the fuck is Steve?)

cyclist.ca
04-25-2008, 06:42 AM
Ya, see what you started Steve!!!

(who the fuck is Steve?)

Biggles604

connor
04-25-2008, 07:20 AM
Biggles604

Ilosttoconnorattheripper101

cyclist.ca
04-25-2008, 07:22 AM
Ilosttoconnorattheripper101

:lol: you wouldn't keep that a secret ever, would you?

biggles604
04-25-2008, 05:19 PM
Ilosttoconnorattheripper101

You're just jealous you don't have my dashing good looks, witty charm and an accent that all the girls fall for.

Heatmizer
04-25-2008, 06:05 PM
Biggles604

http://www.crashonmyhead.com/captain_obvious.jpg

Carbuncle
04-25-2008, 06:46 PM
From the band corner:

What do singers and drummers have in common?










They like to hang around with musicians.

Couch_Surfer
11-21-2008, 05:58 AM
Who?

Fast Orange
11-21-2008, 06:06 AM
A Japanese guy was visiting China.

He stepped off the plane and grabbed a taxi at the airport on the way he saw a Toyota. He motioned to the driver to look. "Toyota!" he said. "Made in Japan, very fast, very reliable!"

5 minutes later he saw a Honda, again he told the driver to look. "Honda!, Japanese car, made in Japan! Very fast, very reliable!"

5 minutes later he saw a Suzuki and for a third time pointed at it telling the driver to look. "ah! Suzuki, Japanese car, made in Japan! Very fast, very reliable."

Finally they arrived at the hotel and the driver said "that will be 200 yuan" The Japanese man was shocked and demanded to know why it was so expensive. The driver explained with a grin:

"The meter, it's a Japanese meter, made in Japan, very fast, very reliable!"

Fast Orange
11-21-2008, 07:24 AM
I'm having another moment..

"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

"There are twenty of them!"

gerewh0re
11-21-2008, 07:57 AM
I'm having another moment..

"What's the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?

"There are twenty of them!"

golf clap