waxing help

[synchro]

the new girl i'm seeing needs to get her ass waxed. any suggestions on how i can break the news and any places you'd suggest i could tell her to go to? should i offer to do it for her and make it kind of a romantic night by including a massage?

any suggestions would be appreciated.

[DARTHYOGA]

Real man doesn't care. If you ever want her to take her clothes of again you'll never mention it. One day you might inculed a wax job in a spa package for a birthday or something but DO NOT DO IT YOURSELF. It will go horribly wrong.

[SammyJ]

I don't know if this is some kind of inside joke or something, but holy crap man don't say anything to her!

Lol. Just make a comment sometime about how you need to trim YOUR hair (if you DO trim at all) and maybe she'll get the hint.

[Nelson]

I heard that the juice from a freshly squeezed ham sammitch was better than Nair...

[DaveM]

Just email him a link to this thread.

You problem will be solved......one way or another.

[connor]

huh, I always thought Dave was the man and you were the girl, who knew??

[the flying moose]

tell her she isn't getting any nookie until her ass no longer looks like chewbacca.

[biggles604]

So why do you want to get your arse waxed? And why are you hiding behind the story of some girl you are seeing?
Weak :)

[DaveM]

So why do you want to get your arse waxed? And why are you hiding behind the story of some girl you are seeing?
Weak :)

he is the girl he's seeing

[skifreak]

he is the girl he's seeing

so the theory that masturbating will grow hair is true after all!?

[Lurch]

Just email him a link to this thread.

You problem will be solved......one way or another.

Mark, looks like your "girlfriend" is informed.

[SkunkworkS]

Why did Discowitch moon you?

[.glib]

tell her she isn't getting any nookie until her ass no longer looks like chewbacca.

ain't no nookie for a wookie.

[DARTHYOGA]

No hopping down the bunny trail with a bunny tail.

[trout]

Watch the karate kid and keep rewinding this part:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3PycZtfns_U

[Mic]

Uhmm...you serious?

[the flying moose]

marks new woman is athletic.

http://graphics.boston.com/images/bostondirtdogs//Headline_Archives/bdd_Chewbacca.jpg

[XXX_er]

you used to be able to get home hot waxing kits

I used to do my former wife's legs

same idea as cutting the kids hair when they were young to save money ... only different

you could get a home kit and then suggest that you do each other ...pretty kinky eh?

[DARTHYOGA]

All hair removal methods have tricked people with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now... the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: “Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.” So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those “cold wax” kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I’m not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (“Cold wax,” yeah... right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-hoo and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I’m blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half the strip. OH NO! What have I done???!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!!Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out... must stay conscious... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe... OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!There’s no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.
WHAT?! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
MY LIFE FLASHES BEFORE ME!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Hoo-hoo? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself “Please don’t let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!” What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I’ll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...
in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn’t melt cold wax. So, now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement- epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It’s a very good conversation starter ”So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!” There is a slight pause. She doesn’t know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, “Are we talking cheeks or hoo ha?”
She’s laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else’s night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
GOODNESS!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It’s sooo painful, but I really don’t care. “IT WORKS!! It works!!” I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I’m numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

[XXX_er]

We got this kit from consumers distributors for I think around 30-40$(CD has long since gone under) ,you plug in a warming stand ,it has spots for 2 wax cartridges (one wide ,one skinny)with roller tips you swap to new cartridges .Plug it in for 20min let the wax get nice n hot ,roll a layer of the wax on ,smooth downwards on a cloth strip (cloth with the open weave .. muslin?) and RIP up wards ,the cloth will have all the hair & wax stuck to it.

I did this quite a few times for the mrs,she seemed to think it worked pretty much as well as a pro job at the salon so I will take her word cuz I got no idea what i was doing or how its supposed to happen but all i know is it saved 30$ a shot AND ...it didnt hurt me a bit